How to Clean Your CD

For years I've wiped in circles, you know, like you'd do with a vinyl album. I guess I thought I was clearing any dust that might have been building up in the grooves between the, um, electrons in the programming. Right, I'm stupid.

Well, I'm less stupid every day. Hence this blog.

Here's what I found out you do from the "Get Smart" video I rented today. First, the smart thing to do is use a static free non-lint-producing rag to wipe the dust off your CD. You don't need a special cleaner, but don't repeat don't use a glass cleaner product like windex. Really, all you need is water and, only if desperate actions are called for, a very light drop of dish soap in the water.

But then here's the kicker. You don't wipe the CD in circles. It's not a 45, ya mook. Lateral wipes, if they scratch, is much more likely to damage data burned onto the CD than perpendicular scratches. So you wipe it straight out from the center toward the edge. But then, just to be safe, don't scratch it anyway.

Some companies do produce special CD cleaning fluids, but they aren't much different from slightly soapy water.

Know what else I found out today? Don't fucking rent "Get Smart." The only way it could've been worse is if they had Pierce Brosnan singing in it.